take the high road
It 's been too long now since I've been in this blog. Well, for one I've been to preoccupied of certain things (as well as another blog that I've become addicted to update it), and of course, college stuff. Two weeks from now, school will be over. And the truth is, at first I was happy that finally my bad start this semester would finally end. But then, I don't know if I'd want to stay in the house for the rest of the break.
I was so down this morning. I barely talked to anyone, and I intend to stay that way maybe for the rest of the week (so pathetic, I guess). My mind has been wandering for quite sometime now. On Saturday, my brother's finally going to leave us to look for his destiny (a better job, actually) in the U.S. Actually, I was expecting it these past few months, and the nearer the date draws in, the more I became afraid of the things that might happen.
I love my brother to death. That's it, I've finally said it. He is the only brother I have (of course, we're only two in the family) and the only one I'd prefer to be with. And right now, I still can't picture the fact of him leaving for a very long time. Well, I cried when he left to study here in Los Banos but things are much different now. He won't be able to come back in the weekends. Or I'd text him whenever I just want to.But most of all, things would be a lot different in the house now. Really.
Most daughters would usually say that if they'd have a boyfriend, they wanted them to be like their fathers. For me, I'd like, whoever "bastard" he is, to be like my brother.
There are a lot of things going on in our house right now; things that I choose to ignore but it keeps on popping out in my mind. And having my brother around gives me that feeling of comfort and distraction from all these "things." With him being gone for a really long time, I don't know what else to do. He lets me understand my parents whenever I would argue with them, he is the bridge that patches up our family. And I can't take that big role that he has as long as he's gone.
I'm gonna miss you so much Kuya. I haven't hugged you before, or perhaps kiss you in the cheeks. I long to do that but my pride usually overwhelms me. I'm really just going to miss you damn so much.
Hope you'll get back soon before everything turns into crumbles... Before my life turns into one while you are gone.
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