The first semester's finally over. Second semester of my junior year is finally creeping up on me. It won't be long now till I graduate from college (wag lang po maextend, utang na loob).
I'm still undecided whether I'll have my practicum this semester break. A lot of my batchmates have been very busy with their papers, while I am here, ranting on this blog of my laziness and drowning on the "Bahala Na" attitude.
I definitely didn't like this semester. It wasn't very ideal for me taking classes last summer - it had my energy hanging onto a thread as the school year started. It was as if the three-week vacation wasn't enough to replenish myself. This sem was a disaster.
I still find myself doing nothing - the usual. Nothing changed in me since highschool. And my objective of opting to study here in Los Banos was to look for myself - to change who I am or what I've become back when I used to call Lagro, Q.C. as my home. But now, it seems as if I'm estranged between these two places: Los Banos and Lagro.
Yes, I did choose to run away. My brother was right all along; I am an escapist, especially when it comes to dealing with myself. I always think that running off, getting a new perspective in life would change who I am. But then, a lot of new and newer perspectives have gone by. I opted to become passive about them.
We can't change who we are. Like what my professor in P.I. 100 said, a society could change from one system to another, like primitive communal to slave-master, but still a fragment of the previous society cannot be easily overhauled by the new system. A part of it would still remain. A part of me may always change, but still, the person I used to be would still manifest. And it always could do good, or destroy me.
Right now, it's destroying me bit by bit.
WANTED: A person who would sit beside someone who would simply listen about a person's rantings about life, never dare speak a word about themselves but simply pay attention to what he/she is saying; A great listener who doesn't put himself on the spotlight but rather cares for the other person so much, eager enough to share the time and ears with the other.
At the end of two weeks, NO APPLICANTS.
Wala lang.
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