bday prologue (part1)

I'm turning 20 on Saturday. Yes, finally the big 2-0. Goodbye to my teenage years, and certainly, on that day I'd feel much older. Maybe it has something to do with the -teen word being separated from my age. And I must admit I'm not so happy about turning 20, coz I have to face the fact that I am actually getting OLDER. But I'm thankful for my life, the whole 20 years of it. I just hope that I could have done much better. I'll get to that later on.

What is it with being 20? Well, I just had my very first job interview yesterday. And hopefully, if everything else falls into place, I'll be starting my very first full-time job on Monday. Talk about the rapid pace of life. The other day, I was simply browsing tons of jobs and submitted a few copies of my resume to different companies. I was livin' the life of a bum for almost a month since we came here in Arizona, and now I finally have a job. I am still nervous about it though, especially on Monday. The "firsts" of life are always the hardest. I just hope that I wouldn't screw up anything. It's not good to be fired on your first day of work. Seems like a slap on the face.

But finally having a job, having the chance to help my family with all our expenses here, and having the opportunity to have the experience, is a really great birthday gift though. Truly sweet.

Enough about my life update. Back to the prologue.

What have I done for the past 19 years of my life?

One thing I'm thankful for: I gained true friends. And they are food to my soul.

Some of them came, and left. Others simply were passersby. A lot of them were mere acquaintances. While few were the ones whom I trust the most. And I'm thankful that I found them at my tender age of 19.

Back then, I wished that I had a friend since I was really young. We would grow up together; simply having that one person who would see my soul and knows the whole me and vice-versa. My chance flew to Chicago when I was five years old. It was one of the friendships I had that I wish I could have stayed in touch with.

But then lately, I've been thinking about it. Why would I wait for just one person when I have these people who even actually see me far beyond it?

There are my bestfriends in highschool. My two barkadas whom I am very very thankful for to have in my life. That despite the distance we had during college, they are still there, waiting for me to come home from Los Banos and never hesitate to kill time by spending it with each other.

Joy Rabbie M. Catungal: Up to now, I still never fail to associate Winnie the Pooh with you ;) I really just miss the times you used to call me at home, sharing the little moments about your life. And if I may say, I really feel good whenever you tell me your problems, no matter how small or big it may seem to be. It makes me feel the real worth of a friend. I remember the times you never hesitate to drop by our house before the four of us meet together. That one time I told you about my "personal" problem while we were waiting inside Jollibee. When you used to text me about certain people bugging your quiet life. How I wished I could have done more for you my friend. But I guess, I must admit that for the past years, I kinda failed on that. Before I turn 20, I just want you to know that I appreciate every moment we have spent together, all four of us.

And also, I miss doing our own "handshake." We never get to do that anymore :') Always take good care of yourself. I miss you.

Kristyl Joy H. Gamboa: First of all, I'm sorry. I guess I can't say enough.

I'm sorry for what happened back then. I don't want to elaborate on that, coz it's been a long time. And we still continue to move on. Or have we already? ;) But mostly, I'm sorry if I wasn't able to tell you that I was leaving. I was looking for the right time and place (if there's such a thing) to tell you guys. But I guess I am not really good at saying goodbyes. Sorry you had to hear it from somebody else. Everything happened so fast I didn't have a steady grip on time. I wasn't even sure if it was really true, not until two days before the 14th.

Up to now, it amazes me how our friendship could have gone through all the "drama" of highschool. All of it seems hazy to me now. A small part of me says that I want to forget about it. While the remaining says that I'm somewhat thankful for what happened. Because in a way, it did better for us. If it wasn't for it, we will not have the strong friendship that the four of us share now. We may have lost some people along the way, but this doesn't mean that we already forgot about them.

I guess what matters now is that we have each other. We share a friendship that survived an "emotional torture," if I may say ;p And few are the ones who could surpass such, and this small number are the people who remained to be true friends. Just like the four of us.

You'll never lose me, Tyl. Not before, not ever. I'll see you soon my friend. Take care always.

Celren B. Castro: I'd like to thank you for the last text you sent me before I left for Arizona. It made me realize once again that special thing about the friendship between all four of us. Just remain as "stubborn" as you always have been, and I meant that in a good way. Hehe. Makulit ka kasi! This is just one of the many things I miss about you. Right now, I think of how we used to wrestle each other inside the classroom, and how each time you would always beat me. It always puts a smile on my face whenever I think of it.

Now, I look at how much our friendship (the four of us) has grown. And I could have never been happier. Coz I know that everything's okay now. I just hope I don't miss too much about your lives. I guess that's one of the things I had to sacrifice for studying far away from home. I don't want our friendship to fade, coz it's not worth throwing away.

More years for the four of us. And thank you.

I just remembered the past years when I celebrated my birthday. One time was when you (we used to be seven then)gave me a musical box as a present playing a very memorable tune (the Ballet Fur Elise thing... At oo, yun pala ang title niya hehe). I was really touched. Because you remembered about this very small detail about my life. Just that act of gesture means a lot to me. Another, was when you asked a lot of people to write a birthday greeting for me in small pieces of paper (the papelmeroti-type) and enclosed it in a box. I really appreciated it so much guys. No one has ever done it for me before, you were the first.

I never forgot about our friendship guys. I love you very much.

For the "CLICK" barkada... (eew...)

Charity Mae Agati: Aside from Anne, you are my "shock absorber."(quoted from Tope) Ikaw ang parang "glow" ng barkada (not literally ha hehe) I remember our small antics, especially during third year. I know you understood me, Cha. And that's your gift, you comprehend emotions rather than words. And I feel so blessed to have known a person, a friend like you who converse with people far from what they are or what they show. Parehas tayong problemado sa pag-ibig, and I could have never been so candid to tell anyone about it aside from you. Which makes me feel at home with you guys. Coz we talk about practically everything. I remember that moment during my 18th birthday, when all five of you gave me a toast (feeling naman natin as if wine ang iniinom natin, which was simply San Mig Light by the way) and told me your wishes for my birthday. I really felt overwhelmed, lalo na nang nag-group hug tayo sa may gate namin. All six of us knew it was too cheesy or corny, but we gave in to it. But if I were to watch it from afar, it would be one of the nicest things to witness. Just true friends who love each other very much :)

Cha, I know how much of a "pain in the ass" I was during third year. I think you know what I meant by that. I wasn't able to tell you all that I do treasure our friendship, because it was real. And I would be very stupid enough (again and again) if I'd let go of such a relationship. So Cha, let's continue believing in the magic of love (eew..) just like when we watched Il Mare. We don't need an explanation, coz we've become contented on what was right in front of us. That's magic. And that's the kind of love I found with you guys. Take care and I’ll keep in touch. I will be back very soon.

By the way, our plan if ever both of us don't get married (you know, the apartment and Joshua thing hehe), we would still do that okay? hahaha

Anne Lourdes Gerona: If there's any person who had seen the worst of me, it must be you. Malaki ang utang na loob ko sa'yo, Anne. I remember that time in 4th year highschool, when I went to your classroom (sa Roxas) and dragged you inside one of the restroom's cubicles. That time when I sat on the toilet bowl and you knelt down in front of me. That gloomy morning that I cried so hard because of this burden that I've been trying to keep to myself for the past days, for the failure that I can't bear anymore. You knelt there, for almost fifteen or 30 minutes listening to me, fulfilling the duty of a friend by patting my back to relieve the tears. That was the very first time that I poured out my emotions to anyone. Most, it was the first time I was able to tell my real problems to someone. And I am glad it was you, because you listened. Or to even start with, you never hesitated to lend your hand when I dragged you there.

You never failed to be a great friend. And I know, I haven't done the same to you. I was stupid back then, especially when it comes to friendships and relationships. I am very glad to have you as a friend, tayong anim nina Charity. Back then, I admit that I have neglected our friendship, or maybe fell two steps behind. I am so sorry. I was weak. And again, I'm sorry coz it took me so many years to ask for such an apology. I just want to let you know, Anne, I'm still here. And all six of us would still share more memories together, mapa-seryoso man o puros kalokohan. Thank you sooo much.

Christian Rivera: I haven't seen you for I think almost a year now. You are like a brother to me. If people would let me describe who Christian is, well aside from your mole (which I think you use to attract women, hehe joke), I would tell them that one moment in 3rd year when I was in the corridor of the Highschool Building. That time when I was almost teary-eyed because of something that shouldn't have been a problem in the first place. Still, you never hesitated to do that act of friendship. You gave me words of comfort and made me realize my worth as a friend, as a person. You may not remember it, but every detail is very clear to me up to this day. Mostly, it made me realize from that moment on, you are a true friend whom I know I could always count on. I never got to say thank you for that. So, thanks a lot. Right now, I simply miss you and wonder what you may look like now. But I know, we would still see each other.

I hope you're doing well now. I hope I could help you with your problems, especially during those times that I wasn't aware of them. I want you to know that you could always count on me, same as how you've been there for me when I least expect it. I will see you soon.

Christopher Leo Tabayan: I remember that famous saying in highschool, "Past affects the future." And I'm simply proud to say that we've surpassed that. That we never let what happened in the past, whether it's good or not, affect the strong friendship we have today.

Even if you'd call in the middle of the night, I'll never hesitate to answer the phone. Always remember that. I want you to know that I'm always here to listen, and do my best to help you in anyway I can. That's what friends do. And that's what we've always been :)

Never lose that jolly spirit that you always wear. Remember, you're always loved. And at the end of the day, you'd always find five souls who would be there for you no matter what. Never think twice to ask for help, coz we'll never think twice to do so. Take care.

Joshua Estero: I'm really so glad to have met someone like you. Who would have thought we would be the closest of friends during or even after highschool?

Life is indeed full of surprises. And I'm so glad that you were one of those who jumped suddenly into my life. Same with Cha, it's hard not to laugh when I'm with you. Lalo na kapag humahagikhik ka, at sasabihin ni Anne na huminga ka naman dahil para ka nang hinihika hehe. That's one of the things I'm missing right now. And even if we laugh too much, if we need a serious talk, you suddenly shift into it. Which I really admire about you. Coz we can laugh, talk, and laugh again which makes life seems so easy. I feel safe and I don't worry about anything else when I'm with you. It's as if we're in a suspended nirvana or something. Daig pa natin ang mga taong high hehe. Whenever we're together, all six of us, parang wala nang bukas. Which is kinda true especially when you don't think twice of sleeping over our house. And I really feel happy when we do those instant sleepovers. Ika nga natin, mas natutuloy ang mga plano kapag hindi sila pinaplano hehe. Because in our friendship, it's fun taking risks and trying new things. And that's why I enjoy life so much when I'm with you.

You've changed a lot. Lalo na nung lately tayo nagkita. And I'm so proud of you my friend coz you've done a lot of great things. Keep it up. We will see each other soon. And when that happens, itutuloy na natin ang Batangas outing ;) okeiz?

Continue to next post... Part 2